Winner of 2018 Feathered Quill Book Award and the Stroud Arts Book Festival Award!

The multi-award winning true story

About the Book

A wedding photo of Jennifer and Marika taken just 6 months before she started her gender transition

A True Story

Real-life couple Jennifer and Marika were a happily married same-sex couple for six months before Marika's announcement: She wanted to become a man. Jennifer questioned everything she'd ever known. Could she stay in the marriage? Could she love Marika as a man? She went through her own personal hell to find out.

wedding rings of same-sex couple Jennifer and Marika before Marika underwent a gender transition

A Stunning Revelation

A true story told from Jennifer's viewpoint, Who Am I If You're Not You? explores this couple's experience with gender transition. While Marc embraced his authentic self, Jennifer struggled to come to terms with a life that didn't match her dreams. From self-injury to an eating disorder, she desperately sought control.

A photo of Jennifer, lost and searching for self-identity as her spouse undergoes gender transition

A Lost and Desperate Soul

With personal poems that Jennifer wrote during her darkest hours to photos of Marc before and after transition, you'll get to know every aspect of this couple's journey in a raw and intimate way. It's a real-life love story that's unlike anything you've ever read.


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Who Am I If You're Not You?


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In one of the best nonfiction books today, author Lynn Thorne introduces us to Jennifer and Marika, a real-life couple who's forced to confront a most unusual situation: Marika wants to transition to become a man. It's narrative nonfiction in its truest form with a powerful message of love's journey beyond gender.



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